Because I invent them, silly! A brain fart. Three-Letter Acronym
Linguists have been unable to determine the origin of this self-referential bit of word play. May simply be the cultural residue of ABF. I'm Fricken Stupid
You probably have this. Wriggle, Waggle, Woggle
The original name for the World Wide Web. Forget I told you or you may be rendered. Glue-Trap Phobia
Caused by spending too much time in phone trees. Incurable. Can't Handle The Truth
Often used as a bogus defense to explain why people don't like you. GIRLFRIENDS Gymnastic Inability Pattern
A good excuse when your girlfriend insists you try some weird sexual position. Whimsical Childhood Regression.
What you're experiencing when your girlfriend annoys the hell out of you with the baby talk that never failed to fascinate her parents. Sleepy Saurus Denial.
What you're experiencing when your girlfriend just stares at you after you call her a sleepysaurus. Stop calling her names. She knows what she is. Irreducible Perplexity Frenzy
What happens when your girlfriend had to pee and you've forgotten where she went. We have a pill for that. Golf Ball Brain
A neat thing to call your girlfriend when she's being obtuse because she'll think you're just "so cute". Toxic Squid Pregnancy Poisoning. See . CONFORMITY-RELATED Self-Inflicted Hunchback Malady
Experienced by ultra-conformists who behave themselves, keep their nose to the grindstone, their arms at their side, and their eyes looking straight ahead. Incurable. Stand-Tall Compulsion
An extremely unhealthy defensive over-reaction to the symptoms of SIHM. Obsessive Conformity Paranoia
A side effect of STC that you'll get if you didn't seek professional help in time. Anamolous Gene Disorder
The only explanation for why some people seem suffer from SIHM and STC simultaneously. Debilitating Caffeine Addiction
One of the many ways in which AGD disguises itself to fool you into thinking you are normal. You are not. FAHGETTAH ABOUT IT Malfunctioning Alien Robot Syndrome
It's that thing where an alien robot sent to prepare the Earth for an invasion forgets its mission and spends its entire life looking like an annoying appliance pretending to be one of us. — Stefon (i.e. Bill Hader)